i can never possibly have the best of both worlds. and i've been asking myself all the while whether it's worth it to give up one for the other. at least i have a more definite answer now. the happiness and the security i get from baby and his family can never been replaced by anything else. frens... who can treat you like their family. how many can i have?

i've always been sure of what i wan, but i find myself stuck for quite some time now. and i dunno what i want. no sense of direction. i just feel like escaping all this and let me settle my mind and heart down, without worrying abt anyone being unhappy, dissatisfied, questionable. it's weird. ok mayb it's not. i just feel lost. dunno where im going. fruck this feeling. feel lika useless bum